S P A C E | BABY

Finally I have read Kim Gordon: Girl In A Band, which swirls like a majestic haze that is somehow pastel, glittering and grungy.  As a fan of Kim Gordon, maybe more so than the band Sonic Youth (but oh, I love sonic youth), since I heard Bull In The Heather in the early 90s, and like a true nonconformist bought Daydream Nation instead of 'Experimental, Jet-Set, Trash and No Star' like everyone else who'd seen it on MTV. I read her memoir as being another chronicle of one's creative journey that flourished in New York city.   Though her journey began decades before mine, the story feels the same.  I came to the city before and somehow felt connected to it, or a spark.  Looking back that is probably what most feel, but I vowed to live there one day and live the fast life: eat, breath and spit creation nonstop.  And maybe I would've met my Thurston and might have married him too - but I didn't.  Instead I tried to commit to my Self, to do art or some thing ...

Being an introvert is probably underrated.  When I first heard of the term, it seemed to describe antisocial loners incapable of intimacy on most levels.  There may be levels of 'introvercy' which I learned by being both a party girl and a brooding writer, or sometimes a quiet, fly-on-the-wall photographer.  To be still is to know.  In other words, the Bartender knows everything, which an old friend brought to light in such a way, as he talked to me from behind the bar.  A habit of writing formed with a tiny diary, then swelled into obsessive poetry only a moon-in-Scorpio virgin could write shuttered away in my room for hours with only the sound of music, and begat the kindling for creative fires.  Through teen angst, shared dorms, roommates and such, the shuttering had to become more aggressively insular with sunglasses that tell anyone near to not bother me; to beautifully crafted moats of gigantic eternity scarves and hoodies that covered my markedly Oth...